The Usual Suspects

After over 10 years working in the Health and Fitness industry working in all facets from front desk to personal training I have had plenty of time to observe different personalities in the gym.

A while back my good friend and author of the Stupid Gym Shit blog posted a list of different types of people you see at the gym…members and such the post was called Gym Lingo You Must Know… and it was hilarious…

Much in the same vein I was inspired to make a list of my own … only this list is about the different types of TRAINERS you find in the gym arena … Enjoy

The Old School Players

1.)    The Meathead- The classic trainer. Fake tan, extra medium shirt with NO PAIN NO GAIN logo, or something to the like, cutting off the blood supply right at mid bicep, Reebok’s from the 1980s that only he seems to know where to buy, and yes, the fanny pack. What’s in it? Steroids? Bubble-yum? It remains a mystery…

2.)    The Repeater- This is the trainer that you see repeating the same workout every hour on the hour regardless of the client. A 17 year old kid training for football and a 50 year old man on beta blockers should be on the same program right???? Wait.

3.)    The Functional Trainer- No traditional bodybuilding workouts here…ever…at all. This is the guy that you’ll see twirling himself and his clients around the gym like freakin’ Peter Pan. Are they working out or playing twister?

The New School Fools

1.)    The Crossfitter- This is the guy that swears by Crossfit as the one and only method of training. No matter the client, no matter the goal, Crossfit is the answer… See you in the ER.

2.)    The Vegan Crusader- If you eat meat you hate living things and are going to die of cancer. Milk gives you cancer, beef gives you cancer, chicken gives you cancer…what doesn’t give you cancer???? Tree bark and grass clippings.

3.)    The Paleo Guy- This is my favorite. Because like MOST vegans, MOST of these guys got it all wrong. Dude…Newsflash… Paleolithic cavemen were NOT eating Butterball bacon and McCarthur Farms butter…

4.)    The Reverend- This is the preacher/trainer. Most of them egotistical freaks in the midst of a personality crisis between who they are and who they want to be. Now you’ve got this dude reciting lines to you during your workout telling you how you need to change your focus or your life. Dude, shut up.

That’s all I got for now, but I’d love to hear about any of these maniacs you can spot!!

Lazy, but Talented

That’s the slogan I saw on a kid’s shirt at the gym the other day while he was in session with his personal trainer. I got a little upset when I saw it because it endorses an attitude of apathy and complacency which we (especially adolescent kids) have an over-abundance of already. I don’t care how talented someone is, if they are lazy they should be fired, or cut, or benched, or whatever your term for out of action is.

Hard work and dedication are the only things that get results. Sure, everyone knows the one in a million story of the guy who won the lotto, or inherited a fortune, or the guy/girl with six-pack and great legs that eats pizza and donuts all day… they have been dealt an awesome hand and should enjoy it to the fullest, but I don’t envy those people that seem to just effortlessly “make-it.”

The overwhelming majority of us have to flat-out work our asses off and stay diligent to get where we want to go. The only way to achieve true success is by working hard and conquering those things that keep us from our goals. I don’t envy them because the glory is in the process. Yeah, it sucks while you’re doing it, all the tedious things that you have to do in preparation for a greater moment. But once you’ve reached your mark you can look back on all the work and sacrifice you’ve endured and feel a feeling of actualization, or accomplishment. You’ve taken an idea from your mind and through discipline and hard work made it a reality.

A person can win a fortune and lose it in a second or be blessed with great physical features and suffer health complications from poor eating habits.

No one can “win” the experience that comes with going through the process that makes a millionaire or be “blessed” with the knowledge of a person that has gone through the process of physical transformation.

The work makes it worth it.